i see you doing what i tried to do for me... [entries|friends|calendar] barefootglamour [ website | myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[21 Jan 2006|07:04pm] my memories smell like summer and that's something i can't clarify whenever i reach back into my mind everything feels like rising tides carolina lotion makes the winter months seem dense shampoo with a sense of warmth turns my feelings past-tense i feel like tomorrow will already disappoint me 'cause all those miracles were so long ago grains of sand residing in retired sandals mistaken for dirt that just won't leave it's so easy to forget an entire mindset that took two months to relive edge of seventeen.

open up your eyes [09 Jan 2006|10:07pm] open up your eyes, now can you see her standing there? she's the one with empty eyes, staring at the floor do you see her shivering emotions as she throws herself against the wall? she's lost it all no one left to keep her safe no one left to hold her sanity in their arms the scarring, it's too deep just try and help her, please she's lost and she's lonely she's cold and she's tired how much more does she have to go through for you to open up your eyes? edge of seventeen.

painted on [09 Jan 2006|10:05pm] to have brown eyes, and never see them diluted by my every tear you can't paint on a smile with makeup i know, because i've tried i oughta be feeling better and that's all they can think another day, crawl out of bed starre in the mirror and paint on some hope paint on a smile paint on new wishes paint on a strong heart paint on a better, deeper soul but that's not the problem i just can't unpaint what's here edge of seventeen.

words [08 Jan 2006|11:45pm] wasteland elusive barefoot wildflower basement broken words simplicity scientology downfall bottles joaquin lorelai breathe deceit glamour glowing allure attraction fascination devotion infatuation idolization novelty rage harmony rhapsodize melody unwritten inspire diamonds edge of seventeen.

tell me [08 Jan 2006|11:41pm] i've got enough secrets inside me to suffocate even the strongest of little girls so many lies entwined within my heard that it'd be impossible for me to feel thr truth and that's what you tell me that's what you tell me i'm unaware and that's how i need it the front of naiivety cloaking any glow i've got an out for any corner i might encounter damn me and my manipulative ways and that's what you tell me that's what you tell me getting me to talk while saying something is much like pulling teeth smiling on a day that ends in 'y' is just so impossible for me and that's what you tell me that's what you tell me who i am tears out the heard of who i want to be and i pretend not to know my own identity what you envision me as can't be reality nothing's ever that easy at least that's what you tell me that's what you tell me edge of seventeen.

wildflowers [08 Jan 2006|11:39pm] sunlight doesn't have the same effect when you're eternally cold i lie and try to soak up all the happiness being thrown at me despite the efforts of the onlookers, i'm a failure to your reasoning you always say it's my fault and i'm the one kicking wildflowers, so maybe it is nine days away and i assumed this world could fix itself though i've done nothing to partake, i find that i awake to a misunderstanding of how a human being can carry so much hate i don't want to save the world, i don't want to be saved edge of seventeen.

rhapsodize [08 Jan 2006|11:37pm] i've seen inside your head, and i've been introduced to all the lies i've been fed the striking familiarity of all the words that have been said i feel too far gone to rhapsodize i feel pieces of naiivity gone resemblence of the story that i transposed to a song why do i so willingly play the pawn? edge of seventeen.

untitled [08 Jan 2006|11:33pm] i told you the truth and i'm still paying the price, just when i think that this can't happen again i pretend everything i've done has always been right i can trace a path from that day in our past that night that defined every second of the future i don't have time to create a new ending 'cause you shut me out there's trust but i'm not sure where it dissipated static emotion that i use to paint my life your face holds fear that i never wanted to sense from you i want to take my life back now you said you tripped again and you act like it's my fault spent over half my life trapped inside a song i don't need to hold your hand anymore, the feeling's shallow there's gotta be warmth somewhere in this hellbent world i've been having trouble keeping up with your smile don't think my head can stay above water this time edge of seventeen.

last fix [08 Jan 2006|11:30pm] as addicted as i am to this idea of an infatuation that controls the air i breathe, i know this habit's gotta break while i have enough strength to walk away from all this pleading before i'm dragging on my knees i can feel my nerves tensing, and like a moth to a flame, i always end up back on your doorstep, cigarette in my hands knowing kicking coke would be easier than this i'll promise myself that this'll be the last time, just one more interaction, enough to capture every syllable tracing from your lips edge of seventeen.

trusting [08 Jan 2006|11:28pm] i wish that i could breathe you in, take everything you say to me and keep it in a locket around my wrist i want to fade within the beauty you create and invent a world entirely within your kiss there's no reason to shatter everything i see when i can feel your presence i don't want to need you always with me a single shread of sanity, and i'm forcing it upon ypu trusting you to keep it safe from me a familiar trust fits within your handprint you're the only one to ever hold me wasted words of pleading yo keep you here the fantasy's over, the analysis is wrong edge of seventeen.

pretend [08 Jan 2006|11:25pm] i can hear empty tears, not sure if they're yours or mine wondering if these hollow feelings are even going to stand the test of time we've tried long enough to pretend this life's going right but i can't close my eyes and make this go away i remember holding your hand i remember watching sunsets making everything okay i know somewhere inside you there's a heart that used to burn for me and somewhere in my bitter sadness i know i used to feel for you i can't go on and feel like this smiles and hopes that just aren't there nonexistant dreams a show of bitter seams here comes the heartbreak edge of seventeen.

real [08 Jan 2006|11:21pm] you tiptoe around me like i'm some fragile doll i know i made a mistake, it's already been labeled as so wrong but i'm wondering why, if i can move on, how you can keep this going like an empty, repeated song don't make me stay here, drowning in every regret i can't sit around and suffocate through one more sunset i know what i did, i know how you feel but nothing in this pain is gonna make you feel real go ahead, kick me one last time i know your motive now, pretending all your pain is somehow mine but i'm okay, and i'm still learning and no matter how long you keep me here, your heart's still burning don't make me stay here, drowning in every regret i can't sit around and suffocate through one more sunset i know what i did, i know how you feel but nothing in this pain is gonna make you feel real i am not your loophole, for every broken heart you erased you cannot live all your sympathy through a girl without your face edge of seventeen.

reckless [08 Jan 2006|11:19pm] they wonder why i'm so reckless i tell them they're lucky to have gotten out alive i seem to ruin everything i'm into it's so close to when i could break for the last time so close to giving up, so close to giving in i just keep running further from the problem lying within they all tell me i'm not where i need to be i've screamed about a thousand times, asking what they want from me i can't rely on a future that couldn't promise me a past and now it's over, it's all over and i'm sorry i couldn't make it last i hear you're angry, but you're mostly just upset i know the truth, baby, but you still haven't admitted it yet i wish you'd realize you've got all the luck in the world 2 edge of seventeen.

relax [08 Jan 2006|11:16pm] i see you glare at is when we enter the room together relax, it was just a coincidence i know you eyeball my every move around him honey, you need to back off a bit maybe you've forgotten exactly how the ending went maybe you're not remembering that i'm the one who cut down on all the time we spent you're so consumed with you two going off track that you don't realize i don't want him back he's a liar, he's a cheater and you don't look great together, either but that's got nothing to do with me you know his story, you know our background so what makes you so positive he wants to get with me? maybe you've forgotten exactly how the ending went maybe you're not remembering that i'm the one who cut down on all the time we spent you're so consumed with you two going off track that you don't realize i don't want him back honey, i'm sorry there's a million girls out there prettier than you and i'm sorry that you know as well as i do that he's been with them, too why you gotta be so jealous when you know that we're through? maybe you've forgotten exactly how the ending went maybe you're not remembering that i'm the one who cut down on all the time we spent you're so consumed with you two going off track that you don't realize i don't want him back i don't want him back edge of seventeen.

sleep, love [08 Jan 2006|11:11pm] dawn is breaking on the horizon and i want to take it all in but i'm so introverted lately you sleep beside me, smile on your face i wish i could learn to love like you the days are getting colder, i'm beginning to lose control my sleepless body is catching up with my soul i don't know how to make things easier and you say, "sleep, love don't worry about the morning, love close those eyes and let the dreams in" you say, "the moon is rising, and that's a sign of what's to begin" i wish i believed you so many days since the last time i felt the way you did yesterday i locked myself away and tried to rid all these sorrows i could hear your words through the door, were you asking me questions? were you giving me answers? and you say, "sleep, love don't worry about the morning, love close those eyes and let the dreams in" you say, "the moon is rising, and that's a sign of what's to begin" i wish i believed you the sunlight's getting bright in here, i'm holding three am much to dear i wanna hold you and whisper to you, the way you do to me but i can't find the strength, and i can't find the words to let you in and you say, "sleep, love don't worry about the morning, love close those eyes and let the dreams in" you say, "the moon is rising, and that's a sign of what's to begin" i wish i believed you edge of seventeen.

sometimes [08 Jan 2006|11:10pm] sometimes i look you in the eyes and i'm convinced i can see everything and other times i'm frightened to disvover that i don't know just what you're going through sometimes i see you doing what you do and i'm amazed at how fragile you look and when you see me looking back i start to wonder if you might indeed be proud sometimes i know it's not enough to wish the best for you in my heart i know i try to make you happiest but i still ask myself everyday if i'm making the right choices edge of seventeen.

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